Bible Verses About Holding Grudges

A grudge is an old hurt that you keep feeding. It can sit quietly for years and still sour a meal, a holiday or a whole friendship. If that sounds familiar, the bible verses about holding grudges collected here, all from the King James Version, show what God says about letting go and why he asks it of us for our own sake as well as for the other person.
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18 Bible Verses About Holding Grudges (KJV)

These bible verses about holding grudges are quoted word for word from the King James Version, each followed by a short note on its meaning.

Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD.

Leviticus 19:18 (KJV)

This is the one verse that names the grudge outright. Of all the bible verses about holding grudges, it is the oldest, and it ties the refusal to bear a grudge directly to loving your neighbor as yourself.

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

Ephesians 4:31-32 (KJV)

Paul lists what a grudge is made of: bitterness, wrath, anger, noise and malice. Then he gives the standard, which is not how the other person behaved but how God forgave us. It is the heart of the bible verses about holding grudges in the New Testament.

Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

Colossians 3:13 (KJV)

The word quarrel here means a real complaint, so Paul does not pretend you have none. He asks you to put up with people and forgive them anyway, with Christ’s own pardon as the pattern.

For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Matthew 6:14-15 (KJV)

Jesus adds this directly after the Lord’s Prayer. It is a sobering line for anyone studying bible verses about holding grudges, because he links our willingness to release others with our own experience of being forgiven.

And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

Mark 11:25 (KJV)

Prayer is the place where grudges get exposed. Jesus says that while you are standing there, forgive, which suggests the work can be done in the middle of a prayer rather than put off.

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Matthew 18:21-22 (KJV)

Peter thought seven was generous. Jesus answers with a number nobody can keep track of, which is the point: the bible verses about holding grudges in the Gospels are not about keeping score at all.

Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.

Proverbs 10:12 (KJV)

A grudge stirs the pot, as this proverb says, and keeps old quarrels simmering. Love covers instead, not by denying the wrong but by refusing to display it.

He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.

Proverbs 17:9 (KJV)

Anyone who keeps retelling an old offense will end up alone. Among bible verses about holding grudges, this proverb is a practical warning about what a grudge does to friendship over time.

Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:

Ephesians 4:26 (KJV)

Paul does not forbid anger, he sets a deadline for it. A grudge begins when anger is allowed to overnight, then to stay for years.

Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;

Hebrews 12:15 (KJV)

A root grows unseen before it shows above the ground. The writer warns that bitterness, left to itself, troubles the whole community, which helps explain why bible verses about holding grudges are given such weight.

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

Romans 12:19 (KJV)

The grudge-holder is secretly trying to be the judge. Paul hands that job back to God, who sees everything, which takes a weight off the one who was hurt.

The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.

Proverbs 19:11 (KJV)

Passing over an offense is called a glory here, not a weakness. This is one of the bible verses about holding grudges in Proverbs that treat wise restraint as a mark of strength.

Grudge not one against another, brethren, lest ye be condemned: behold, the judge standeth before the door.

James 5:9 (KJV)

James puts the word in the imperative: do not grudge. The picture of the judge at the door reminds us that bitterness is not a private matter, since God hears every complaint we make about each other.

But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.

Genesis 50:20 (KJV)

Joseph had every reason to hold a grudge against his brothers, yet he said this. It is the best story among bible verses about holding grudges, because it shows a man who could see God’s larger purpose inside his own pain.

Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:

Luke 6:37 (KJV)

Jesus puts judging, condemning and forgiving side by side. A grudge usually holds a hidden verdict against someone, and this verse asks us to put the verdict down.

And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.

1 Peter 4:8 (KJV)

Fervent means stretched out, like a muscle at full reach. Peter says love at full stretch can cover a crowd of wrongs, a quiet, steady antidote to the bible verses about holding grudges warn against.

Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.

Psalms 37:8 (KJV)

David tells us to stop fretting, because dwelling on how we were wronged leads quietly toward doing wrong ourselves. That is how a private grudge turns into a deed.

Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.

Luke 23:34 (KJV)

Jesus says this on the cross while the nails are still fresh. If he could pray for his killers in that moment, then the bible verses about holding grudges we study here are not impossible, only costly.

The Weight You Carry When You Hold a Grudge

Picture someone who has not spoken to a relative in eleven years. They still know the date of the argument. They still rehearse the speech they would give if the phone rang. This is the quiet cost the bible verses about holding grudges are warning about: not an explosion, but a daily dripping of attention into something that cannot change.

The Bible calls this carrying. We carry a grudge as we would a heavy bag, and it gets no lighter with age. The passages gathered here do not shame anyone for being hurt. They only ask us to look honestly at what the hurt has become and to set it down.

What a Grudge Is and What It Is Not

A grudge is not the same as remembering. You can remember what happened and still be at peace. A grudge is when memory is used as a weapon, kept ready, and polished each time the person’s name comes up. It hopes for the offender to suffer.

It is also not the same as justice or safety. You can stay away from someone dangerous and still release resentment. The bible verses about holding grudges never ask us to pretend nothing happened. They ask us not to make the injury a permanent resident in the heart.

Leviticus 19:18 and the Oldest Command Against Grudges

Long before the New Testament, Moses gave Israel this law: do not avenge, do not bear a grudge, love your neighbor as yourself. Notice the order. The grudge is mentioned beside revenge, and the cure is love. The verse ends with the simple authority, I am the LORD.

Jesus later called the love of neighbor the second great commandment. That means every time we read bible verses about holding grudges like this one, we are looking at the same law he said all the others hang upon. It was never an optional extra for kind people.

Joseph and His Brothers: A Grudge That Did Not Take Hold

Of all the people in the Bible, Joseph had a better case for bitterness than most. His brothers sold him, he was falsely accused and forgotten in prison. When the same brothers stood before him years later, afraid, he wept and said that God had meant it for good.

Joseph did not pretend that the wrong was small. He named it. But he refused to keep his heart in the pit. That is why Genesis 50 sits at the center of any study of bible verses about holding grudges: it proves that forgiveness is possible even when the injury was cruel.

Seventy Times Seven: Why Jesus Refused to Count

Peter was being generous when he suggested forgiving seven times. Jesus then used a number meant to make counting absurd. The point is that the one who keeps a ledger cannot also be at peace.

A grudge is exactly a ledger of wrongs. Each entry is kept in the mind, and the balance is checked often. When you read bible verses about holding grudges from the Gospels, notice that Jesus does not give a rule for how to calculate. He gives a way of life in which the books are closed.

The Parable of the Servant Who Would Not Forgive

Jesus told a story right after that conversation with Peter. A servant owed his master an enormous sum, and the master forgave it all. Then the same servant seized a fellow servant who owed him a few coins and had him thrown into prison. The master was furious.

The lesson is in the contrast. Our debt to God is vast, and the debts others owe us are small by comparison. We could fill a page with grievances and still not equal what has been cleared on our account. That is why bible verses about holding grudges lean so heavily on the language of mercy received.

Forgiving From the Heart, Not Just in Words

The parable ends with a hard line: forgive from your heart. Words alone are not enough. You can say it’s fine and still pull away every time that person enters a room. Forgiveness that stays only on the lips tends to leak.

This does not mean feelings change in a day. Often the decision comes first, repeated daily, and the warmth follows slowly. Think of bible verses about holding grudges as asking for the decision, and trusting God to heal the emotion over time. Our page on Bible verses about forgiveness explores this step by step.

How Bitterness Grows Like a Root

Hebrews 12:15 uses a farmer’s image. A root of bitterness springs up and troubles many. Roots are unseen at first. A small irritation that is never dealt with can dig deeper each year and then surface in a harsh word at the wrong moment.

Pulling a root early is easier. That is the practical value of bible verses about holding grudges: they invite you to deal with offense when it is small. If it has gone deep already, take heart. Our page on Bible verses about bitterness offers help for the long-standing kind.

Let Not the Sun Go Down on Your Wrath

Paul’s advice in Ephesians 4:26 sounds like old marriage counsel, and it is. Settle the matter before bed, or at least begin. Anger that is allowed to sleep tends to wake up stronger the next morning.

But it also applies beyond marriage. Many of the grudges that last decades began as one unspoken irritation that nobody had the courage to bring up. Gentle honesty early would have saved years. Among bible verses about holding grudges, this one is simple enough to start using tonight.

When the Person Is Not Sorry

This is the hardest case. The other person has not apologized and perhaps never will. Do the verses still apply? Jesus on the cross prayed for those who had not repented. Stephen said the same while being stoned. Forgiveness in the New Testament is something we offer, even without a request.

That does not mean trusting them again at once or pretending there is no wound. It means releasing the debt in your own heart. Many people find that bible verses about holding grudges become most real when no apology comes, because then forgiveness is no longer a trade but a gift.

Forgiveness Is Not the Same as Reconciliation

Forgiving is something you do alone. Reconciling needs two people. If someone has abused or repeatedly betrayed you, forgiveness may free your heart while wisdom keeps the door closed. Paul says, if it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

That phrase, if it be possible, is honest. You do your part. The rest is theirs. Reading bible verses about holding grudges with that distinction in mind prevents a lot of false guilt, especially for people who have been told that forgiveness means going back to harm.

Vengeance Belongs to God

The urge to get even is natural. Romans 12:19 does not deny it. It redirects it: leave room for God’s wrath, because he says that vengeance is his and he will repay. Trusting that God sees and will act can calm the restless need to punish.

There is something freeing about this. You are not the court of last resort. Our page on Bible verses about revenge goes into this more. Meanwhile bible verses about holding grudges remind us that the one who passes the case to God can finally sleep.

Love Covers Offenses Without Excusing Them

Proverbs 10:12 and 1 Peter 4:8 both use the language of covering. It is a careful word. To cover is not to deny, since a covered thing is still there. It is a choice not to expose or rehearse, but to hold in mercy.

Think of a gentle hand drawing a blanket over a sleeping child. That is the sort of love bible verses about holding grudges describe. It acts with quiet respect toward the failings of others, hoping they will be better in time.

The Friend Who Repeats a Matter

Proverbs 17:9 notes that someone who repeats a matter separates close friends. Gossip is one way a grudge spreads. We recruit others to our side, tell the story again and again and call it venting. The wound is sealed in, not healed.

Telling a trusted counselor in order to find help is wise. Telling everyone to prove a point is not. The practical warnings in bible verses about holding grudges like this one make a good filter before you speak: am I looking for healing or for allies?

Pray for the Person Who Hurt You

Jesus told his followers to bless those who cursed them and to pray for those who mistreated them. That may feel impossible at first. A smaller start is to ask God to do good to them, whatever that means. Honest short prayers are fine.

Something changes when we pray for someone by name. The enemy slowly becomes a person again, with a story and weaknesses. Our page on forgiving your enemies speaks to this. Praying through bible verses about holding grudges is often where the knot first loosens.

Grudges Between Family Members

Family grudges are the deepest and often the oldest. A forgotten will, a wedding that was not attended, a harsh word at a funeral. The roots run through childhood. And because we love these people, the pain is sharper.

The Bible knows this. Jacob and Esau, Joseph and his brothers, David and Absalom all show family conflict. Many readers come to bible verses about holding grudges because of a sibling or parent, and the stories give permission to take the first step even when it feels unfair.

Grudges at Church and Among Friends

A church is made of imperfect people, and offense happens. A comment in a meeting, a decision that went the wrong way, a friendship that cooled. The temptation is to leave quietly or to stay and sulk. Neither fixes the thing.

Jesus taught a simple path: go to the person directly, privately first. Many grudges would dissolve in a ten-minute conversation if someone were brave enough to ask. It is worth reading bible verses about holding grudges before such a talk, to enter it humbly and not to win.

Grudges in Marriage

In marriage a grudge often hides under a joke or a silence. One partner remembers what the other forgot, and the old item comes back whenever there is a new quarrel. Over time trust erodes and the two begin to keep separate scores.

Healthy couples learn to say it and then let it go. Our page on Bible verses about marriage has more. The wisdom of bible verses about holding grudges for married people is simple: bring it up, forgive it, and do not bring it up again as a weapon.

Grudges at Work

Workplaces breed grudges: a promotion that went to someone else, a credit taken, a careless email. We rehearse the unfairness on the drive home. Colossians 3 also speaks to servants and masters, so it is honest about hierarchy and injustice.

The Bible suggests doing your work heartily, as for the Lord, and leaving the vindication to him. Hard to hear but freeing. Applying bible verses about holding grudges on the job means refusing to nurse the offense, while still using proper channels where a genuine wrong needs correcting.

What Holding on Does to Your Body and Mind

Scripture speaks plainly about this: a sound heart is the life of the flesh, but envy and bitterness rot the bones. Whatever else you think of it, long resentment seems to wear people out. They sleep poorly, snap at those near them and tire of their own thoughts.

You do not have to be a doctor to see the pattern. Holding a grudge costs energy that could go into living. Many who study bible verses about holding grudges say the biggest surprise is how much lighter they feel when they finally start to let go.

The Link Between Forgiving and Being Forgiven

Matthew 6:14-15 can alarm readers. Does God withhold forgiveness if I struggle with a grudge? The context helps. Jesus is not describing a bargain but a family likeness. Those who have truly received mercy begin to give it, and those who stubbornly refuse show that they have not understood what was given.

The right response is not panic but prayer: Lord, I am not able, make me willing. God honors that. This is how many believers approach bible verses about holding grudges, as an area where grace has to do the work from the start.

Letting Go in Small Steps

A grudge of twenty years will not vanish in an hour. Start small. Name the hurt in a journal. Pray one sentence about the person each morning. Send a short note on a birthday. Decline to tell the story at dinner. Each small act is a bit of ground recovered.

Time is not the healer. What heals is what you do with the time. A steady habit of bible verses about holding grudges read in the morning and acted on in the afternoon will produce change more reliably than a single dramatic resolve.

Writing a Letter You Never Send

A useful exercise is to write everything you wish you could say. Be as honest as you like. Name the hurt, the anger, the cost. Then read it aloud to God, and tear it up or leave it in a drawer. This helps move feelings out of the loop in your head.

Then, in a second letter, write what you would say if you could forgive. Even if you do not believe it yet, putting the words down starts to form the path. People who use bible verses about holding grudges alongside such exercises often find them a good companion.

When You Are the One Who Caused the Hurt

Sometimes we are on the other side, the person someone else holds a grudge against. Jesus gave a direct instruction: if you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift at the altar and go be reconciled first. Humility starts the repair.

You cannot force someone to forgive you, but you can apologize clearly, without excuses, and give them room. This is as much a part of bible verses about holding grudges as forgiving is. We help the process when we say sorry plainly and do not demand a quick response.

Teaching Children Not to Hold Grudges

Children learn how to handle offense from watching. If the adult in the house goes silent for days, the child concludes that is how love works. If the adult says sorry and starts again, the child learns something different.

You can teach with short verses. Ephesians 4:32 is easy to memorize and fits a sibling quarrel. Reading bible verses about holding grudges aloud at bedtime and then forgiving each other before lights out is a family habit that can last a lifetime.

A Short Prayer for Releasing a Grudge

Lord, you know what happened and you know how long I have carried it. I do not want to carry it anymore. Forgive me for the ways I have nursed it. Help me hand this person to you, and give me a heart that wishes them well. In Jesus’s name, amen.

Say it as often as you need. Some prayers are answered in a moment and some in a decade. God hears the honest ones. Praying this alongside bible verses about holding grudges gives your will something firm to lean on when the feeling lags behind.

Why Forgiving Feels Like Losing

Most people resist forgiving because it feels like surrendering. If I let go, the other person wins. They got away with it. My pain will mean nothing. These thoughts are honest, and they deserve a careful reply, not a quick scolding.

The reply of Scripture is that holding on does not punish them. It binds you. The person you resent is often busy and untroubled while you rehearse the scene. Seen this way, bible verses about holding grudges are less a demand than an offer of freedom, and the freedom is yours first.

Esau and Jacob: A Reunion After Many Years

Genesis 33 shows two brothers meeting after a long estrangement. Jacob arrives frightened, with gifts and bowing low. Esau runs to meet him, throws his arms around him and weeps. Whatever anger Esau had carried, it was gone, or it had been given to God over the years.

The story reminds us that time and distance sometimes soften a heart, and that the first move can be received more kindly than we fear. People who read bible verses about holding grudges while dreading a call to a sibling often take courage from this scene.

What Stephen Teaches Us About Dying Without Bitterness

In Acts 7 Stephen is stoned for his faith. His last words echo Jesus: Lord, lay not this sin to their charge. A man in physical agony prays for his killers. It is among the most remarkable scenes in the New Testament, and it stands behind any serious look at bible verses about holding grudges.

Stephen was full of the Holy Spirit, and that is the secret. He did not do it in his own strength. If your own heart feels too small to forgive, ask for the same Spirit. The ability to release a deep wrong is a gift, and God gives it to those who ask.

Wisdom for Choosing Your Battles

Not every offense calls for confrontation. Proverbs 19:11 calls it a glory to pass over a transgression. A thick skin in small matters leaves your energy for the important ones. Some grudges exist only because someone refused to let a trivial slight go.

Ask three questions before reacting: Is this a pattern or an accident? Would it matter in a year? Can I overlook it in love? Practicing this regularly is part of living out bible verses about holding grudges, and it saves many friendships that would otherwise wither over nothing.

Final Thoughts on Bible Verses About Holding Grudges

The Bible is realistic about hurt and generous about healing. It does not tell us to deny pain, but to place it in God’s hands, where it can no longer rule our days. Joseph, Stephen and Jesus himself all stand as proof that release is possible.

If you are carrying something old and heavy, begin today with one verse and one small step. May the bible verses about holding grudges on this page lead you gently toward peace, and may the mercy you receive overflow to the person you are learning to forgive.

Related Reading

To study these verses in more depth, try Bible Gateway, Bible Hub, Bible Study Tools, Blue Letter Bible.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does the Bible Say Anything Directly About Grudges?

Yes. Leviticus 19:18 says not to bear any grudge against your people, and James 5:9 says to grudge not one against another. These two verses anchor most of the bible verses about holding grudges you will find.

Can I Forgive Someone Who Has Not Apologized?

You can. Jesus prayed for the people who crucified him before any of them repented. Releasing the debt in your own heart is possible without their apology, which is a common theme in bible verses about holding grudges.

Does Forgiving Mean I Have to Trust the Person Again?

No. Forgiveness is a gift you give, but trust is rebuilt through changed behavior. Paul says to live at peace as far as it depends on you. A careful reading of bible verses about holding grudges keeps these two ideas apart.

What Happens If I Cannot Let Go of a Grudge?

Keep asking God for help. Even a willing heart is a start, and he works with it. Bible verses about holding grudges such as Ephesians 4:32 point to his mercy toward us as the source of our strength to forgive.

Is It Wrong to Feel Angry About Being Hurt?

No. Ephesians 4:26 says be angry and sin not. Anger as a first response is human. What bible verses about holding grudges warn against is letting it settle into long resentment or revenge.

How Do I Stop Replaying an Old Hurt in My Mind?

Replace the loop with prayer for the person and a short verse such as Psalms 37:8. Repeating bible verses about holding grudges when the memory returns gradually weakens its hold, and speaking with a pastor or counselor can help too.